how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
