i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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