Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
