this beer tastes like vomit already
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Randomize
