i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
birth control should be required to get into college
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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