Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
