Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
