i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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