forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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