haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
