sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
