But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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