I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
