I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
