Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
