so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
