Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
