after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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