This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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