Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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