Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize