He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
