he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I need to calm my uterus...
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