we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
