At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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