why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
how drunk are you?
Several
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
