I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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