Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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