i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
