Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
