Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
