yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
