No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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