Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
They have beer where we have blood.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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