If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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