He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
