hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Bring me that man meat
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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