someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
