Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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