I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
