Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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