he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
In America we eat man semen.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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