I smell stomach acid.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
