yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
