shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
