i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
