well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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