Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
there is glitter all over my balls
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