dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
