I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
