Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
