capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
