Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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